A Healthy Foundation for a Healthy Relationship

A Healthy Foundation for a Healthy Relationship

By: Margie Frisco, UHV Practicum Student
Do you have a healthy relationship? There are times when you might want to make sure the foundation of your relationship is healthy.  This will help you make your relationship stronger and be able to withstand any arguments that might arise.  Sometimes you need help repairing the foundation.  Sometimes you might need to rebuild the whole house.  That is ok.  It can be done.  According to Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, there are some core features of a healthy foundation and structure to a relationship.

A mixed race couple that is smiling and holding their cat. Represents the needs for couples counseling to help build a healthy relationship in Katy, TX 77494Building A Healthy Relationship

Of course you know your partner.  You can probably ramble off your partners favorite food or color.  This piece of the puzzle has a deeper meaning.  Do you know your partner’s inner feelings?  For example, do you know what makes them happy?  Do you know what their needs are?  Getting to know your partner on a deeper level will help you both to feel more connected.


This component is wanting you to look at your partner with a positive outlook.  This means when you look at your partner, see their positive attributes, not what needs to be “fixed” or changed.  This will allow yourself to feel more fond or attracted to your partner and gain more respect for one another.  Think of this as learning to work together in a more productive way.

Turn Towards Each Other

When life gets rough, you need to turn towards your partner.  This is especially true if the tension is with your partner.  A prime example is if you are in an argument, do not turn to a friend or family member to vent about your partner.  Take your concern to your partner.  The only people that can change or improve the relationship is the individuals in the relationship.


Sometimes it is hard to see your partner in a positive light when we are made.  It is important to not let your emotions let you forget the positive attributes that your partner has.  This can be achieved by focusing on your friendship.

Conflict Management

When individuals get angry it is easy to say something in the heat of the moment that might be hurtful.  Couples must learn to fight fair.  If you know what triggers your partner, don’t do it.  That might be easier said than done.  But it is important to remember even when you are mad, hurting your partner will only hurt the relationship and yourself.

Motivate Each Other

You or your partner might have dreams that can be hard to achieve.  As a partner, it can help if they motivate change.  This can be done in many ways; being supportive, helping with the logistics, or verbal reassurance.  Motivation can help make this change happen.  During the process of the change, this will help strengthen the bond in the relationship.

Shared Meaning

This section is where you and your partner can utilize all of the warm and fuzzy feelings.  The shared memories, legacy, culture, values, and traditions all come together to show a story of your lives together.  Enjoying these moments and reliving the happy times are good for rejuvenating the relationship.  Being proud of what you both have accomplished and admiring the lives that you both have built together is something to treasure.


A couple holding hands expressing commitment to one another. Represents the need for couples counseling to build a healthy relationship in Katy, TX 77494Each person must feel that they can trust the other.  If there has been broken trust in the past, it can be repaired.  It will take time, forgiveness, and patience.  It is important to allow the other person to heal, whether they caused the mistrust or not.  Trust is a foundation that will allow you both to move toward a healthy relationship.


It is extremely important that each person feel that they are not the only participant in the relationship.  They must feel that their partner is just as invested in the success of the relationship as they are.  Being totally committed to the relationship and your partner will allow the relationship to move toward healthy.

Begin Counseling To Build a Healthy Relationship In Katy, TX

If you are ready to build a healthy foundation, Cheri can help! She provides counseling to individual men, women, and couples. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

  1. Contact the office to set up an appointment or to get more information about counseling.
  2. Meet with Cheri.
  3. Find ways to improve your relationship!

The therapists at Locke Counseling and Consulting are dedicated to helping people with their mental health needs.  Counseling is a way to help you and your family to grow and develop in a healthy way.  Sessions can be held in person or via Telehealth. We are here for you.

Other Therapy Services 

Cheri offers counseling services for adult individuals including: anxiety treatment, depression treatment, relationship help, and divorce recovery. She specializes in couples therapy and helps with specific issues such as: infidelity, intimacy and sexual health, and parenting Cheri strives to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about Cheri and her counseling services, please contact Locke Counseling and Consulting today!